Makes me happy: My cat Sirius, couch forts, my girlfriend, surprises, superstitions & fortune cookies.
it takes 237 muscles to fake an orgasm but 15 to say “it’s called a clitoris and it’s right here”
(via mommabec)The Gospel truth
ah yes i have finally found it
the g spot
(via mommabec)Hardcore Anal Fisting
Over forty years later:
((I will never not reblog this.))
The sad moment when you realize how alone you actually are. No one ever messages you first or texts you first or anything. So it gets to the point where you don’t want to put in the effort with people who don’t put in any effort for you, so you end up spending your life at home, never going anywhere.
For all the cats out there struggling with weight loss…you can do it too!!
i’m literally dying omg.
I need to show this to my kitty, he’s getting porky and I think it’s affecting his self-esteem.
You can see the vibrancy in her eyes.
Catspo… Dying. CATBLR.
This is what is wrong with tumblr. So much catspo everywhere, EVERY CAT IS BEAUTIFUL.
NEVER GIVE UP
(via becomingahotgirlfriend)Its my time
If dudes are expected to have a lot of sex
But ladies are expected to stay virgins until marriage
But homosexuality is bad
I’m really confused who dudes are supposed to be having all that sex with
(via vorpalsuicide)Salmiakki Vodka
ACTUAL MESSAGE OF (500) DAYS OF SUMMER THAT NO ONE ACTUALLY REALIZES
The birds and the LEEs.
One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious. When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the President’s Secret Service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner. Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, “Why was he so interested in talking to you?” She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her. President Obama then said, “So if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant,” to which Michelle responded, “No. If I had married him, he would now be the President.”